[ Oh no, she misread his intentions really badly! How embarrassing... it's a good thing this is audio, because he'd really hate for him to see her blush like this. ]
O-Oh, i-is it? I-I... I know I'm not very suited for a battle like that, so it's understandable.
[It's just comfortable to be around her, even when they're talking through their carriers. On the opposite end of the feed, Naruto is settling back on his mattress. There's something on his mind and maybe-]
I was just remembering the way things had been back then. Fighting like that isn't easy. Even as a shinobi I wonder if we're really doing the right thing. It's natural to go on a mission back home, and know you're going to be in danger, or that you might die. I keep fighting because I have people that are important to me too. People I wanna protect. But it doesn't feel settled for me.
[ Naruto... on the one hand, she's... happy that he's worried about her, but on the other... she doesn't want him to worry about her this way either. ]
I... I think I understand. I don't want to hurt people—I just want to help them. But... But there's a war a lot like this one back home, between my country and another one named Nohr.
I-I joined my big brother, who abandoned both countries, because we want to end that war. At first I didn't want to fight, but... I know that I have to, if I want to become a strong princess of Hoshido and help him achieve peace. I also realized that fighting is a way of helping people too, if it means creating a peaceful world.
I-It's still hard for me, though. Even though I feel like I'm doing something good, I can't help but think about the people I'm fighting. They probably feel like they're doing something good too.
[ —Ah! She just started rambling about her feelings. A little sheepishly, she adds: ] D-Does that sound silly?
[It comes out easily, but maybe that's because it is an easy admission. Things were simpler when he was younger- the results of a mission were black and white because that was the world he'd been handed and because it was often a matter of survival. It wasn't until he'd lost Jiraiya and been confronted with Pein that Naruto found himself reconsidering everything he'd once been so quick to accept.]
My master had another student, and he taught me a lot about what it means to decide things for yourself. Actually, when we first met he'd done something so terrible that killing him was the only thing I could think about. I was never angry like that before. Revenge was all I wanted.
But he did those things 'cause he was trying to make a better world too, in his own way.
It can be hard fighting someone and knowing that. But I don't think we can stop either, not when these people are asking us to protect them. As we don't give up, I believe that one day, people really will be able to understand each other, and there can be a world without war.
[ On her end of the call, she tries to hide her soft sniffles that break the silence that he leaves behind. Is she crying?
Yes, because he understands, and it's such a relief to hear what she's been struggling with reflected back at her. Fighting just isn't in her nature—in truth, she despises it. She isn't like her siblings in that way, who have always embraced their strength and bent the world to their will. Compared to them, she always felt powerless. Fragile. Weak.
Most of the time, she still feels that way. She felt it on the train, and maybe some of her tears come from what happened there that still resonates with her all this time later.
But Naruto is strong—she can tell. That doesn't stop him from sharing her doubts (and her hope), and so that probably makes him just the person she needed to hear that from. ]
I-I believe that too. [ She has to believe that, or she wouldn't be able to walk the path she chose. ] Th-Thank you.
[He can feel the moment before she begins to cry- there's a kind of tremble in the air that carries between two people. Naruto has always been expressive and in doing so, has cried more times than he can count. He knows the feeling, and that's why he isn't startled when he hears her sniffle.
Instead of rushing to reassure her, Naruto closes his eyes and just lets the feeling wash through him. What it's like to have someone else, in a whole other world, with entirely different battles to fight- to share his master's belief. His hand reaches for the centre of his chest and folds in the fabric he finds there- as if he's holding onto his own heart.]
Thank you, Hime-chan.
It's nice, not to feel alone.
would it make you feel better if i said i didn't even notice
[ She breathes out and it feels like an unburdening, her breath leaving her chest along with so many of her worries. She's not alone. Naruto is from a completely different world, filled with different people and different problems, and maybe she shouldn't find comfort in sharing the feelings of someone like that.
But she does. It fuels her hope, actually, that these kinds of things are universal, and maybe... no one is ever truly alone. ]
What... What did you do then? With the other student.
[ If it sounds like more than idle curiosity... it's because she's thinking about her two oldest siblings, and how there might come a day where she has to fight them too. ]
The fight itself had seemed long- but everything before it was, in a way, part of the same incredible stretch of time. Becoming a sage and learning to perfect his skills, losing his master, the wreckage of his village and Pein's idea of justice and Hinata's body hitting the earth.
Sibling disciples, he'd called them. Naruto's voice is quiet.]
[ To sacrifice yourself to make things right. It can't be an easy choice to make. Even now, after preparing herself to accept the consequences of the choice she's made, she isn't so sure what will happen when the time comes to actually accept them.
Will she be scared? Was this student scared? She's scared even now—she doesn't want to die, and she doesn't want to see any more of her family die either. The war has already taken her father and mother from her—her greatest fear is that it will take her siblings too. The path to peace... will she have to make sacrifices too?
[Was Pein strong? He'd seen the kind of power he had, but maybe it wasn't until the end that Naruto really began to consider it. Back then, the whole time he'd been trying to fight belief against belief instead of pausing- to try and understand. If things had been different, he thinks, maybe we would have been friends.
There's something about sharing a conversation like this, about letting the parts of one's self coexist with someone else. It's deeply personal, but it's comforting too- the way that only an exchange like this can be. Naruto had come to terms with sacrifice a long time ago, when it became more than the idea of and more than a concept. When it was manifested by headstones and impossible abilities and the exchange of one dream for another.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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I'm alright, just training lots.
I was trying to find all the people I met on the train, but I realized I don't know everybody's names. It's a lot harder than I thought'attebayo.
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I-It's really hard when there's so much going on... I can try to help, but I really don't know that many people here.
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It's a little weird isn't it? Coming to check on you like this all the sudden.
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O-Oh, i-is it? I-I... I know I'm not very suited for a battle like that, so it's understandable.
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I thought we were a real good team back there.
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D-Do you think so? I really owe a lot to you, though. You were really great.
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Are you always this nice? You must have lots'a friends back home huh?
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H-Huh? Oh, well... I'm really shy so it's hard for me to make friends... but I'm starting to make a lot more lately.
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But even talking like this means people get to know you better. It's really easy to be your friend.
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D-Do you think so? I-I'm trying to get better at talking to people... but I think it helps that it's really easy to be your friend too.
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Hey Hime-chan, can I ask you somethin'?
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It was hard for you to fight those soldiers, wasn't it? Even though they were trying to kill us.
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[ She didn't expect that kind of question... but the pause here is a pensive one. A sober one. ]
I... I'm not very used to fighting. I don't really want to hurt anybody.
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[ That's not just it, though. But first: ] I-Is something wrong?
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I was just remembering the way things had been back then. Fighting like that isn't easy. Even as a shinobi I wonder if we're really doing the right thing. It's natural to go on a mission back home, and know you're going to be in danger, or that you might die. I keep fighting because I have people that are important to me too. People I wanna protect. But it doesn't feel settled for me.
Knowing that, I was worried about your feelings.
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I... I think I understand. I don't want to hurt people—I just want to help them. But... But there's a war a lot like this one back home, between my country and another one named Nohr.
I-I joined my big brother, who abandoned both countries, because we want to end that war. At first I didn't want to fight, but... I know that I have to, if I want to become a strong princess of Hoshido and help him achieve peace. I also realized that fighting is a way of helping people too, if it means creating a peaceful world.
I-It's still hard for me, though. Even though I feel like I'm doing something good, I can't help but think about the people I'm fighting. They probably feel like they're doing something good too.
[ —Ah! She just started rambling about her feelings. A little sheepishly, she adds: ] D-Does that sound silly?
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[It comes out easily, but maybe that's because it is an easy admission. Things were simpler when he was younger- the results of a mission were black and white because that was the world he'd been handed and because it was often a matter of survival. It wasn't until he'd lost Jiraiya and been confronted with Pein that Naruto found himself reconsidering everything he'd once been so quick to accept.]
My master had another student, and he taught me a lot about what it means to decide things for yourself. Actually, when we first met he'd done something so terrible that killing him was the only thing I could think about. I was never angry like that before. Revenge was all I wanted.
But he did those things 'cause he was trying to make a better world too, in his own way.
It can be hard fighting someone and knowing that. But I don't think we can stop either, not when these people are asking us to protect them. As we don't give up,
I believe that one day, people really will be able to understand each other, and there can be a world without war.
i'm sorry...............
Yes, because he understands, and it's such a relief to hear what she's been struggling with reflected back at her. Fighting just isn't in her nature—in truth, she despises it. She isn't like her siblings in that way, who have always embraced their strength and bent the world to their will. Compared to them, she always felt powerless. Fragile. Weak.
Most of the time, she still feels that way. She felt it on the train, and maybe some of her tears come from what happened there that still resonates with her all this time later.
But Naruto is strong—she can tell. That doesn't stop him from sharing her doubts (and her hope), and so that probably makes him just the person she needed to hear that from. ]
I-I believe that too. [ She has to believe that, or she wouldn't be able to walk the path she chose. ] Th-Thank you.
oh my god i had so many typos... how embarrassing
Instead of rushing to reassure her, Naruto closes his eyes and just lets the feeling wash through him. What it's like to have someone else, in a whole other world, with entirely different battles to fight- to share his master's belief. His hand reaches for the centre of his chest and folds in the fabric he finds there- as if he's holding onto his own heart.]
Thank you, Hime-chan.
It's nice, not to feel alone.
would it make you feel better if i said i didn't even notice
[ She breathes out and it feels like an unburdening, her breath leaving her chest along with so many of her worries. She's not alone. Naruto is from a completely different world, filled with different people and different problems, and maybe she shouldn't find comfort in sharing the feelings of someone like that.
But she does. It fuels her hope, actually, that these kinds of things are universal, and maybe... no one is ever truly alone. ]
What... What did you do then? With the other student.
[ If it sounds like more than idle curiosity... it's because she's thinking about her two oldest siblings, and how there might come a day where she has to fight them too. ]
sweating intensifies r u sure
[His eyes close when he remembers it.
The fight itself had seemed long- but everything before it was, in a way, part of the same incredible stretch of time. Becoming a sage and learning to perfect his skills, losing his master, the wreckage of his village and Pein's idea of justice and Hinata's body hitting the earth.
Sibling disciples, he'd called them.
Naruto's voice is quiet.]
After that, he died saving everyone he'd hurt.
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[ To sacrifice yourself to make things right. It can't be an easy choice to make. Even now, after preparing herself to accept the consequences of the choice she's made, she isn't so sure what will happen when the time comes to actually accept them.
Will she be scared? Was this student scared? She's scared even now—she doesn't want to die, and she doesn't want to see any more of her family die either. The war has already taken her father and mother from her—her greatest fear is that it will take her siblings too. The path to peace... will she have to make sacrifices too?
Her voice is quiet too, a match to his. ]
Naruto... can I ask you something?
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There's something about sharing a conversation like this, about letting the parts of one's self coexist with someone else. It's deeply personal, but it's comforting too- the way that only an exchange like this can be. Naruto had come to terms with sacrifice a long time ago, when it became more than the idea of and more than a concept. When it was manifested by headstones and impossible abilities and the exchange of one dream for another.]
Mn, What is it?
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